Going Home

by Judy

TO THE BEST MUM IN THE WORLD

by martin stewart smith
(CYPRUS)

MUM YOU ARE ALWAYS IN MY HEART I FEEL YOU NEAR ME NOW I STILL CARNT BELEIVE THAT THE PHONE DOESNT RING AT 5 OCLOCK EVERYDAY WE HAD SO MANY HAPPY TIMES AS A FAMILY GOD BLESS YOUR LOVING SON IN CYPRUS MARTIN

MY SON RAHKEEM WHITE

by DELLA PYATT
(MONCKS CORNER SC)

MY SON WAS A VERY ATHLETIC PERSON, HE LOVED EVERYONE AND EVERYONE LOVED HIM .HE HAD EYES THAT COULD OF MELT YOUR HEART. HE WAS A GREAT FOOTBALL PLAYER HAD SIX SCHOLARSHIPS FOR SIX DIFFERENT COLLEGES HAD A BRIGHT FUTURE. HE GRADUATED HIGH IN TWO THOUSAND ELEVEN, ON A FRIDAY NIGHT HAPPY THAT HE DID GRADUATED. HE WENT TO THE BEACH WITH FRIENDS THAT FOLLOWING MONDAY ALL DAY AT THE BEACH, CAME HOME ABOUT 5 THAT AFTERNOON. CAME HOME TOLD ME ME WAS TIRED BUT HE HAD TO GO TO WEIGHTLIFTING PRACTICE.BUT INSTEAD HE WENT TO ANOTHER BEACH AND HE DROWNED. ITS ALMOST BEEN TWO YEARS NOW, AND I MISS HIM SO MUCH. THIS PASS YEAR HAVE BEEN SO HARD FOR ME BECAUSE THAT WAS MY BABY BOY 18 YEARS OLD MY ONLY BOY. I CRY DAY AND NIGHT .MY HEALTH IS NOT GOOD IM DEPRESSES I CRY AND CRY, I MISS RAHKEEM SO MUCH SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE IM LOSING MY MIND. I WAS ANGRY WITH GOD WANTED TO KNOW WHY HIM.AND I DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHY.I PUT MYSELF IN COUNSELING TO DEAL WITH IT BUT I HAVE YET DEALT WITH IT . I WAS DIAGNOIS WITH MS I HAVE BEEN SICK FOR FOUR YEAR WHEELCHAIR BOUND SPEND FIVE IN A HALF MONTHS IN THE HOSPITAL DOCTORS TOLD ME I WOULD NOT MAKE IT . ANDMY SON WAS HEALTH NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM AND HES GONE. PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO DEAL WITH THE FACT OF LOSING A CHILD. MY HEART BLEEDS FOR MY SON,MY HEART HURTS FOR MY SON .HES ON MY MIND CONSTANCELY. MISSING YOU BABY BOY, MA LOVES YOU AND MISSES YOU SO MUCH. I WISH HEAVEN HAD A GATE WHERE I CAN CLAIM JUST TO SEE YOUR HANDSOME FACE. AND THAT SPARKLE IN YOUR EYES AND THAT BEAUTIFUL SMILE. MISSING YOU HEART IS HURTING. REST ON BABY BOY REST ON . YOUR IN GODS HANDS NOW.

Jimmy Raymon McClure

by Max McClure
(Lebanon Tn)

A limb has fallen from the family tree.
I keep hearing a voice that says, "Grieve not for me.
Remember the best times, the laughter, the song.
The good life I lived while I was strong.
Continue my heritage, I'm counting on you.
Keep smiling and surely the sun will shine through.
My mind is at ease, my soul is at rest.
Remembering all, how I truly was blessed.
Continue traditions, no matter how small.
Go on with your life, don't worry about falls
I miss you all dearly, so keep up your chin.
Until the day comes we're together again

My Baby Boy

by jackie davis
(reynoldsburg ohio)

alan and baby alanna when he passed away

My baby boy, Alan was 26 when he passed away. He had cystonosis and had a kidney transplant. He died of a heart attack.
When he found out he was dying he said "Mommy I gave you a baby girl, who act's like me. Please let me go, I can't fight any more." I cried and said "I'll hold you until you leave, just as I held you until you were grown."
I love you Al.
Mom

Grandma Pu'e

by New Beginning Otahuhu
(Otahuhu Auckland)

We all love you nana

God looked around his graden and found on empty space then he looked down upon this earth and saw your tired face,He put his arm's around you and lifted you to rest,God's garden must be beautiful,He only takes the best.
When i heard you were gone,it was hard to take in, that you were gone, I'd never see you again. You meant so much to me, and to many other's, you were the best grandma, and an amazing mother. It's comforting to know your'e in a better place, and I will await to see, again, your beautiful face.

my dearest husband

by petronela
(petersfield, england)

matt johnson R.I.P 3/08/10

my husband past away 5 days after our wedding due to cancer and this is my way to say how much he ment to me


i fell in love with your blue eyes
i fell in love with your soft hands
i fell in love with you

i fell in love with your sweet voice
i fell in love with your sweet smile
i fell in love with you

day in day out you fought this fight
to try and live a bit longer
but time has come to say goodbye
but i`ll miss you forever

my dearest husband , my dearest friend
i find my heart is broken
but this i know my dearest love
you have the heaven open

i fell in love with a great man
i fell in love with my husband
i fell in love with you


Comment
Petronela, this poem is very beautiful. And it's obvious so was your husband. Deepest sympathies.

Susan

mom just went for rehab... not to leave us.

by melody mccullen
(tampa fl)

I am so confused with this. It happened so fast. My mom went from the hospital to a nursing home for some rehab, as she fall at home and needed to have a little rehab for nine days.

Nine days later she died.
She did not go there to die. I just don't understand. I miss her so much.

Melody

How It Feels To Lose Both Grandparents

by trish lynn mathis
(north carolina)

I lived with my grandparents but when they both passed away I felt a pain that I did't think I would ever get over.

They were there for me whenever I needed them.

It just doesn't seem the same now that they are both gone. I know that they both are up in heaven looking down on me. I still miss them both very much, so if you still have your grandparents,cherish them.

I love both of my grandparents and miss them very much. God bless my grandparents; Charles Ralph and Sarah Mae Sisk.

Cowboys don't cry

by Marie Duddle
(South Africa)

When my son was still very small I used to sing a song called "Cowboys don't cry when its time to go to bed", as he HATED going to sleep. From the moment he was born he EMBRACED life, exploring, adventurous (hence his nickname Dennis, for Dennis the Menace).
Andre died last year on 30 April of a heart attack (he was 42). It happened so unexpectedly, we were all shattered. For a while I did not want to live, the pain was unbearable.
But God and time has helped me accept that we all have a moment of birth, till the time He wants us back.
He wanted Andre back and I have planted a garden in his memory. I also keep a journal where I write letters to him, just talking to him. I miss him so much!
Someone once said it is unnatural for parents to bury their children, now I understand better. Sleep in Peace, my cowboy. Marie

The Day Grandpa Died

by bobby graham

When I was a little boy, I did not know what death was about, but now that I'm older I realized everything comes to an end.

When I was 8 years old I watched my granpal die from cancer. He told me that he would be leaving me for a time. I asked him where he was going and he told me home. I replied, "But you are home."

Then he said; "Baby don't cry cause I'm going to a better place and you will see me again someday." He gave me a kiss on my cheek and went to sleep. My mom said; "Don't worry, he will always be around you for he goes with you everywhere and that his love is forever so don't let go."

3 slow weeks

by meghan
(sussex, new jersey, vernon)

My mom is 45. I am 15. She has a brain tumors and is slowly going.. its hard being 15 and watching your mom struggle with everything, even saying I love you or holding your hand. Its hard for my dad being with my mom for 31 years and married for 25. We are all losing a special part of us. She only had cancer for a year.. she was doing so good.. now her body is rejecting the medicine. She lays restless at night. We all cry around her bed.

My mom was a well known woman in our town and many others. She is a foster parent for younger children..its going to be hard growing up being 15 with out a mom who was my best friend.

Everyone loved her for who she was. She always put her self last - even now at times still...its not easy but everyone has a time and place to go when god is calling them!!



Dear Meghan;

I am sorry. Life at times doesn't seem fair. What a wonderful mother you have. Susan

My Dad

by Moses Kusara
(Gaborone, Botswana)

Many people don’t know what they believe - but they don’t want to close the door on the possibility of life after death or some form of spirit.

My Memories - Address In The Stars

I have found this song very helpful in dealing with the loss of my husband.

My Dad

by Steph
(England )

was the bestest dad & grandad anyone could ever wish for, we miss him so much, its nearly 1 year since we lost him, but his memory will live on in all of us, he inspired us all & made us into the people that we are today, we love & miss him so much, he was a fighter & a boy racer even at 77, luv u dad x

Im missing my man

by Brenda
(Sacramento ca)

R.i.p baby

I WAS WITH MY MAN FOR JUST A LIL TIME TOGETHER BUT WE LOVED BEING TOGETHER I WOULD DRIVE FROM SACRAMENTO TO STOCKEN TO GO C HIM OFTEN UNTIL APRIL 22 2012 AT 2 PM WE WERE AT A GAS STATION BY HARDING WAY AND MONROE GOING TO PUMP GAS AND BOUGHT SOME DRINKS MINDING OUR OWN BUSINESS WEN A BLACK DUDE CAME IN WITH A SIXTEEN. YEAR OLD ALL MUGGING BUT NO FIGHTING WORDS WERE SAID UNTIL I WAS DOIN SEPARATE TRANSACTIONS THE 16 YEAR OLD WALKED OUT SIDE MY MAN WALKED OUT FIRST AFTER I DID THEN SAID SOMETHING TO HIM AND STARTED SHOTIN WHILE I WAS YELLING ASKING FOR HELP RUNIN TOWARDS HIM I THOUGHT HE DIDNT GET HIT BECAUSE HE RAN ACROSS THE STREET THEN FELL DOWN A SIDE WALK I WAS CRY ING ASKING FOR HELP UNTIL THE AMBULANCE CAME I WAS HOLDING MY MAN UNTIL THE END HE WAS TALKING TO ME TRYING TO SPEAK BUT HE COULDN'T HES EYES WERE ROLLInG AND I WAS TELLING HOM HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM BUT HE COULDNT SAY NOTHING HE WAS IN MUCH PAIN I WILL NEVER FORGET THE MOments WE HAD TOGETHER ALL HES DREAMS HE HAD HE TOOK CARE OF ME AND MY 13 WREKS BABY AND HE THAT HE ALWAYS WANTED A BABY I LOVE U VICTOR RAMIREZ WITH ALL MY HEART UR ALWAYS GANA BE IN MY DREAMS I LOVE U BABE. 6-25-1992* 4-22-2012

Precious Jewel, Tyson

by Betty
(Clinton, Ut USA)

There came into my life 2 years ago, a beautiful baby boy. My first precious grandson. Oh, how his eyes shined when he looked at me. He would smile and coo. When done babysitting on a Saturday, I asked, "when I could babysit him again?"
"Next week" was the reply.
I couldn't wait.
Then Tuesday night I got a hysterical phone call from my son. He said something was wrong with Tyson. Then wailed, "He might be dead!"
I prayed and begged God all the way to the hospital that he would be ok. And that my son would be ok.
It was not to be. Tyson my little grandson.
SIDS stole him away.
The process of trying to bring him back was gruesome. I was dry eyed for my son to comfort him best I could. Then I would go out into the hospital corridor and drop to my knees and wail.
This process proceeded through the night as I HAD to teach my son to touch and then hold the wonderful body and say good-bye.
It's been a year and a half and I can't say good-bye. No one wants to hear about hard feelings.
How, If ever, do I say good-bye?

Mam

by Bernadette OConnor
(Ireland)

An ode to my beautiful mother who passed away on Tuesday the 24th of February at 10.00am.

The wings of the angels were heard mam,
As they came to take you home.
The Lord and His mother were waiting
To welcome you to your throne.
For on this earth you worked hard,
And not a day idle did you spend,
Your prayers and novenas like doves,
Were constantly flying above.
Now we, the source of your prayers
Stand united together in grief,
The mother and wife we adore has gone
But together we battle on.
Yet in life there’s always a rainbow
And that rainbow is where you are,
Smiling and waiting patiently
Until we too arrive home.
So continue your prayers for us,
We need everyone you pray,
And someday we’ll meet again
In the Heavenly Kingdom above.

We love you mam. Rest in Peace.

My Mom's Last Fight

by Jennie Diaz
(Franklin, Ohio)

Watch over all your babies up there

Hello my name is Jennie. My very sweet mom Thonda, age 44, found out one year age this Oct.31 that she had breast cancer. She had done all they asked her to do and we thought after the surgery that she was okay and would before a long time to come ... Well that's not what happened in August of 2009 we found out that the cancer had come back and that it was in every part of her body. It was so bad that she spent all most the last two weeks of her life in the hospital ... On Oct.16,2009 god called her home to be with him so that she would hurt no more..... She was the mother of one daughter Jennie27, two sons Ricky25 an Walter23 ,also the grandmother of eight beautiful grand-kids ages 6 to 6months..... She was well loved an will be missed dearly.. WE LOVE YOU MOMMY

I Miss My Lover and Friend

by Jason Sheppard
(Pretoria South Africa)

I knew my wife for 20 years. We got married last year finally and I thought it was a start of a long fruitful life together. However a day after we were married she suddenly fell very ill and was rushed to hospital by ambulance. This is a true story, my life story.
She was my sunshine, my best friend, my soul mate, my lover and my wife. I loved her with every fibre of my being. The day she was rushed to hospital - it was because she had pneumonia - simply to cure right? Not with my wife - you see, she was disabled. She had Muscular Dystrophy (disease of the muscles). However she was always able to overcome this and would normally be discharged few days later.
This time it was different - the service in the hospital was pathetic and they killed her - 16 days after our wedding date.
How do I go on? How does one breathe without ones soul mate?
How do I live without her?

The Love Of A 96 year old

by Nancy

Can you help a friend of mine? He's going on 96 yr. He recently has written 3
songs that are awesome and also real tear-jerkers. They could be used for a
funeral. Everyone loves them. One is written in memory of his wife.

This man has leukemia but he is going strong, still drives, and is very active
in all community, etc. functions and he is loved by all.

Can you help in some way for this elderly man to achieve his last wish?
Possibly, you can help promote his song for a good cause because proceeds will
go for leukemia research and hospice that cared for his wife.

Thank-you,
Nancy

God saw you getting tired

by Candice Beauregard
(woonsocket,RI)

My beautiful Mom was only 54 years old,she fought a good fight trying to stay with us but cancer took her away.She struggled with COPD, bad circulation,and before we knew it we were told she had a cancerous tumor growing against her wind pipe which made it hard for her to breath. June 2nd 2008 I received the call that mom took a turn for the worst,what a terrible feeling, she was my best friend.

To make matters worse, the funeral parlor that cremated my mom told me they would take care of all the details. I didn't have any money for a funeral but i did want an obituary at least,she deserved to have that much.

Unfortunately it was never put in therefore not many people knew about moms death.So now its going on 2 years of mom not being here and I'm finally able to try to do a memorial for her.

The Final Decision

by Karen Fredrickson
(Tualatin Oregon 97062)

The Final Decision


“I am not going to do this anymore”. John said the words, the words echoed in my brain. You would think after 13 years of dialysis I would have been prepared for this. But I was not.
The nurses had shocked expressions on their faces. Right away they put a call through to John’s doctor. Within minutes the doctor was standing next to John’s bed. John said again, he did not want to do dialysis anymore and asked his doctor if he could do this pain free and die peacefully. He had just turned 49 years old. The doctor said we can give you medication to keep you comfortable. He also told John and
I that John would have about 2 weeks. As I was hearing his words, my brain was saying can’t you talk him out of this!
John was released from the hospital. We were very quiet on the drive home. John took my hand and said he felt such peace with his decision. That his burden had been lifted. All I could do is squeeze his hand.
I was thinking how can you be so calm? How does one make such a final decision?
It all really started 3 days before John’s 49th birthday.
Normally John does not ask me to make much of his birthday, especially when I have worked the night shift the night before.
I asked him what he would like to eat or go somewhere to eat out for his birthday. He said nothing special. A while later he came to me and said he would like the whole “Thanksgiving turkey dinner”. I was very surprised and called my twin sister and told her about it. I started to cry saying I think this is his last turkey dinner.
The apartment smelled like Thanksgiving Day. It was March 11th, 2011. Three days before John’s actual 49th birthday.
The dinner was perfect. Turkey was so flavorful, the dressing just like my mom makes. The company was the best. John’s step children and grandchildren Becky, Jerry, Alex Conner, Justin, Kayla and Taylor, My twin sister Kathy and her husband Larry. Cody, John’s youngest step son, could not be home. Those who were closest to John, those who loved him were there.
That following Monday, John went to dialysis as he always had for the past 13 years. He called me and said they couldn’t dialyze him because his graft had clotted. Which means he needed to go to the clinic for a de-clot. It didn’t work. We both knew what that meant. He would have to go to the hospital and have surgery. Through the 13 years, John had so many surgeries and hospital stays. The hospital at times seemed like our second home. As he was being wheeled in to surgery I told him,” Don’t go into the light”. It was a running joke with us since he had been put under so many times. As far as we knew the surgery went well. The next morning we found out something was not right. His doctor said he would have to go in again. The de-clot worked, but was so painful when they had to stick the large needles in; in fact they had 3 needles instead of the normal 2 needed to dialyze. John had decided not to dialyze the next morning if it hurt that badly. To make things worse, John discovered he had peripheral arterial disease and was looking down the road at amputation of his legs. His body was tired. John was tired.
I called the kids. They all came up to the hospital that night. It was a very tearful visit. John told the kids he loved them, and hugged the grandkids.
So this is where I started the story. I took John home and we had family over that night. John seemed to be doing really well. I thought to myself” He is going to change his mind and dialyze tomorrow”. Those words were never spoken. During the early evening John and I were on the patio and he turned to me and said” I am kind of scared”. My voice was full of tears and I said “I know”. That was on a Friday.
By Saturday John wanted some special people called so he could say good-bye. Bill and Honnie, Joni, Elizabeth. He was able to say goodbye and tell them he loved them. John had taken a turn for the worse, he wasn’t responding. I was desperate to see his eyes open and let me look into them and tell him I loved him. My prayers were answered. He opened his eyes and I told him I love him very much. John turned to me asked “Am I getting bad? “I couldn’t speak and just shook my head no. He asked me to let his brothers and sisters know about his condition. There had been a rift between many of them for many years. I called Honnie and asked her to let them know. Two of John’s family showed up to say goodbye. The two that showed up at the exact moment, were John’s brother and sister who had not spoken or seen each other in 26 years. A coincidence? I don’t believe in coincidences. The Hospice Pastor came and asked John some questions. One was” Where do you get your strength from? He said his family. He asked if John believed Jesus was the Son Of God and that Jesus died on the cross to save him. John replied “yes”. He then said the Lords Prayer with John, me and my brother-in law Larry.
I knew things weren’t looking good. We called Cody to come home Sunday and not Tuesday from Las Vegas. Unfortunately the airlines were having computer problems and he could not get home until later Monday night. When Cody arrived he spoke to John. John knew who Cody was.
The kids went home. But around 12:30 in the morning Kathy, Alex and I thought we should call the kids back. John’s breathing had changed. We continued to tell John that it was ok to go now. We loved him. For him to go and not be in pain anymore. I laid down beside him in the hospital bed knowing I would not feel his arms around me again in this world. I cried and didn’t really want him to go. I knew it was selfish, but did not care. Kathy, my twin sister said I needed to let him go. He would not go unless I was at peace with him leaving. So I touched his face and smoothed away the frown line and told him I would be ok. I am so grateful that my children were there. I needed their strength. I thank God for a wonderful sister and brother- in law for being so great to John those few days. That is what we had, just a few short days.

Through the night we would change John’s position and wipe his face with a nice warm wash cloth. We gave him ice chips to moisten his mouth. At times John appeared to be to be talking and smiling at someone. John was even softly singing. It was an amazing thing to see someone so at peace to leave this world. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted more than anything for John to stay with me. It was a blessing to watch someone you love so much to die in peace. The Hospice nurse came over because Becky, my daughter, called and said we are not sure how much medicine we should give John. The nurse arrived and told us it would be sometime today that John would pass away. It was March 29th, 2011. The nurse called in a prescription for John, so Becky and her husband left to get it. I went into the bedroom to find John some clothes to put on after he had passed away. My sister Kathy and Matt , my nephew, Tobey the Hospice nurse were with John. Suddenly they both looked at each other and knew John’s life was coming to an end. Tobey quickly came and got me. We called Becky and her husband to hurry back home. I woke Justin and Cody. I walked into the living room and heard John’s swallow breaths. I knew from experience as a caregiver for 28 years, what someone dying sounds like. I wanted to say” no don’t go!!!” But instead I said” It is ok; go where you won’t hurt anymore. Go where people love you. ”At 9:50 AM He took his last breath, peacefully going into the next world.
I guess what I would like for people to get from this story is, yes, our life of 21 years together and the last 13 years had been very trying. But it made me a stronger person and I saw a loved one make a huge decision to leave everything he loved to trust in something bigger than we are and go into the next world with such peace. I hope all who read this have the same experience as I did. It gives me comfort knowing John was so at peace. May the Great Spirit Bless you and keep you in his loving arms.



A Hopi Prayer



Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet white doves in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

Memories

by darlene carroll
(knoxville, TN)

"What are you doing Darlene," asks Peggy. "Loading the dishwasher," I answer. "No, No! Let me show you how this is done!" commands Peggy, as she wedges the glass to back of the rack. "You must always start at the back when you load," she says.

I had met her 3 months earlier. She had just been diagnosed with lung cancer. She had had her left lung removed. They found a tumor on the aorta. After 7 weeks of rigorous chemo and radiation, we found ourselves in the hospital together.

Last Friday my Peggy lost her struggle with the cancer. My husband and I were with her to the end. I was blessed to have shared a part of my life with this dear, stubborn person.

She will be missed, Loved and always remembered.