Are you wondering how to overcome grief, having experienced the loss of a loved one?
When grief first occurs, everything feels so alien. Help is needed. If you have a church affiliation, they can be a tremendous source of strength. However, even with a religious support group, that may not provide you with enough emotional first aid.
I woke up the morning after my husband died and started counting.
That was one day done.
If I could make it through one day, I could make it through two. I have been counting ever since, sometimes it is in days, and sometimes it is in months. Like an alcoholic in the program I initially survived one day at a time.
On the very very worst days I counted a different way, a darker way, I promised myself I would endure this life for only as long as he had been given, fifty years one month two days. I didn't want a single day more than he had. There was one particularly bad day when I worked out I had only seven years, four months and six days to put up with this life before I could reasonably bow out.
I don't believe I was actually suicidal. For me it was all about control. I had lost control over my life and I was making bargains with myself to bring the control back.
Even on the darkest days there was so much remembered joy. I had had a charmed life with a true soul mate. It wasn't for long, only nine years, but it was so fantastic whilst it lasted. We had met and fallen in love and married on a Caribbean beach at sunset, we had travelled the world, had adventuress, laughed so much, and achieved so much. And in an instant he was gone, when he died of a massive brain haemorrhage. No warnings, no signs, he literally just dropped dead in front of me.
Because I knew the man I can even find comfort in that. He would have hated being sick. I know it sounds strange but for him it was the best way to leave this world – no pain, no sickness, just one flash of light and he got all the answers to the questions we ask ourselves in the middle of the night.
For 12 years I was a therapist working in social care, I rose to become Director of Care with a childcare organization and I still occasionally take on private clients for counseling. I have dealt with various aspects of grief in clients and the knock of effects from post traumatic stress to profound depression. I am also a former journalist, I own a medical tourism company and I lost my husband suddenly and traumatically 18 months ago.
When I was going through the initial stages of grief, and struggling with how to overcome grief, I desperately felt the need for a monthly newsletter support system.
Angel Wings newsletter is written to help you deal with grief. It shouts out is “It’s okay to grieve; there is love in the grief!” So go on, drop your barriers, stop being brave for five minutes, recognize the pain, allow it, because it is only by acknowledging the pain that we can make our way through it.
It is comforting to learn of other people’s experiences and stories as they resonate so profoundly.
You are invited to download a complimentary issue of Angel Wings Newsletter; offering you support to help you overcome grief.
Angel Wings, let's you know you are not alone. I have heard so many stories, as people I meet share their own individual accounts of grief. And normal, ordinary people endure such momentous events, experience horrible losses and trauma, and yet they survive. This newsletter is about all our stories.
My hope is that you will find it helpful. And... you will consider sharing stories of what you are going through. It has been said that shared sorrow is half sorrow.
I know from experience, that sharing helps.