Funny Headstone Sayings

The following are some of the funny headstone sayings we have found in cemeteries.

As sad as death is, one of life's best remedy medicines is laughter - in helping to heal the pain. The following headstone sayings show how some people have dealt with death by the use of humor or art. Some are intentionally funny - and some maybe not... 

The following is Benjamin’s Franklin epitaph for himself

(Like the cover of an old book,

Its contents torn out,

And stript of its lettering and gilding.)

Lies, here, food for worms.

But the work itself shall not be lost,

For it will as he believed, appear once more,

In a new and more elegant edition,

Revised and corrected

-- By The Author

Here lies the body of John Mound 

Lost at sea and never found. 

Here lies one Wood enclosed in wood, 

One Wood within another. 

The outer wood is very good. 

We cannot praise the other. 

We can but mourn our loss, 

Though wretched was his life. 

Death took him from the cross, 

Erected by his wife. 

Here lies old Caleb Ham, 

By trade a bum. 

When he died the devil cried, 

Come, Caleb, come. 

Our little Jacob has been taken away to bloom in a superior flower pot above. 

My wife lies here. 

All my tears cannot bring her back; 

Therefore, I weep. 

Here lies the wife of brother Thomas, 

Whom tyrant death has torn from us, 

Her husband never shed a tear, 

Until his wife was buried here.

And then he made a fearful rout. 

For fear she might find her way out. 

She lived with her husband fifty years 

And died in the confident hope of a better life

Stay, reader, drop upon this stone 

One pitying tear and then be gone: 

A handsome pile of flesh and blood 

Is here sunk down in its first mud. 

A rum cough carried him off. 

I was somebody — who? Is no business of yours. 

My wife from me departed 

And robbed me like a knave; 

Which caused me broken hearted 

To sink into this grave. 

My children took an active part, 

To doom me did contrive; 

Which stuck a dagger in my heart 

That I could not survive. 

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